Sunday, May 22, 2011
200 readers and big changes on the way
Wow 200 people follow my blog now? This time last year I think maybe 50 people read my blog. I think that really shows how powerful blogging is for art teachers who often feel isolated. The Internet and blogs are such a valuable resource for me. I know my lessons have improved immensely since I can draw from others. I still feel sooooo lucky to live in this digital age and feel I am a better teacher for what the Internet and digital media can offer me.
The one drawback to my increased readership is I no longer feel comfortable writing about my personal teaching life. Why? Well a mixture of being self conscious, being a little creeped out at that many strangers knowing my business and being realistic that people seem to be looking for lesson ideas not my commentary on teaching.
But I'm going to indulge myself for this post and talk about my personal life. With 3 weeks left this year I can say this has been my hardest year of teaching so far. While I feel like my teaching and my classroom management have improved a ton over the last five years I also feel incredibly burnt out. From the sudden death of my dad this fall, to demand of teaching 8 classes a day to 9 grade levels while juggling extreme student management issues ....I end this year wondering if I am meant to keep teaching.
I know my current school is not a good match for me but somehow I have avoided the cuts AGAIN and have been rehired at .8 for next year. I'm not ungrateful. I know I am damn lucky to have a job year after year. I am not naive. I know teaching is challenging everywhere.
But I am also realistic, I know my teaching site and arrangement is particularly challenging and not where I see myself in the future.
sometimes I feel like this dude...
Now a new opportunity is presenting itself. I am off probation in my district. I have a shot at transferring schools and there is a teaching position open at my dream school. A position teaching just middle school at a nice school, with nice students and supportive parents and a strong commitment to the arts. I want to move to this school so badly that I could cry.
So why am I not running to apply...well I happen to be 4 months pregnant! Do a little math and I will be having my first child in very early November:) And yes I plan on taking my 12 weeks of maternity leave. Even though the new position if half time (which would be perfect for going back to work after maternity leave!) I can't imagine what school is going to want to hire a teacher who is going to be gone for 12 weeks in the middle of the year.
(now I can make these for my own baby!)
I'm not showing at all (that is another story of intense morning sickness and weight loss) and I know I don't HAVE to tell them during the interviewee that I am pregnant. But I am a the type of person who will tell. It will not be the first thing out of my mouth but I feel strongly that I need to tell them. Showing up in August, 8 months pregnant, and saying "oh by the way..." is not how you build trusting, long term relationships.
The few coworkers I have discussed this with tell me I either have to keep it a secret during the hiring process or I stand no chance. I am so torn between my what I feel is the right thing to do and my intense desire to at least be considered for the new position....what would you do?